Agreed.

I think that as Christians, the Holy Spirit convicts a change in us. But that change looks different in everyone and we can't compare what one person's faith looks like to another.

As long as we accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior then what is there to bicker about? Yes, I have my convictions but just because they are not the same as yours (or a million other people) doesn't make me or you any less of a Christian.

It's about the heart. It's about intentions. Only God can judge a person's heart. My God is not only just but filled with mercy and grace and while He will have the final say during judgement day, I have faith in His boundless love.

And besides, I'm too busy cleaning up my own messes to have time to judge how anyone else is living.

I share my love for Jesus and His gift of salvation for me and pray the Holy Spirit does it's thang and works into the hearts of people I meet.

And that's it. Boom.

Thank you! I feel like in blogland all of the bloggers are hard core Christians and it makes me feel completely inadequate. It's nice to know there are people who agree that just because you don't go to church every Sunday or talk about it on your blog all the time, it doesn't make you any less Christian.

I hate the stereotype that Christians have to be perfect. We're still human while trying to be Christ-like, we just know that our mistakes will always be forgiven. I love what Vanessa said too about it being about the heart, because really, that's what it is about.

-Chelsea
chelsandthecity.blogspot.com

Amen. Our church is the same way. We took a 6 month break and when we went back 2 weeks ago they were all "OMG you are pregnant! YAY!!!" No, "where have YOU been the past 6 months...uh huh we see what YOU'VE been doing". And I love that. I think that it's important for people to really search for a church that fits them, we did and I'm so happy we didn't just settle for the one we knew or that our parents went to because it was easy or convenient.

I haven't started taking my family to church because I got so tired of the hypocrisy and judgement from other church goers. That and we move so often. I'd like to get my kids more involved soon though. I think it's important.

I love this post.. it pretty much sums up my feelings on my religious beliefs! After my son passed away I didn't want to feel at ALL and for an entire year I felt there couldn't possibly be a God because MY God would never cause the pain I felt. Doctors put me on a plethora of meds that caused me not to feel anything, to be a zombie (somewhat) but I did feel-- finally I decided that I couldn't live like that and a year to the day of my son's first birth/death day, I decided that I had to change my beliefs and I had to go back to what I had known all my life and I how I had been raised.
I may only make it to church on Christmas Eve every year, to the same church, but when I do.. the Pastor knows exactly who I am-- he knows that I am the Mother that emails him every year and he knows he will see me the next!
*Thanks again.. sorry for rambling. I REALLY REALLY liked this today. You never cease to amaze me with this blog Raven! xoxo

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Love this. It's a complete 180 from your usual shenanigans but it's not at all out of place. And I agree that's the way church should be. I can't stand being condemned because I don't go to church every Sunday. My relationship is with God. And that goes with me wherever I go. So if I'm laying on the Beach praying, that's just as good as being IN church IMO.

This is amazing. I feel the exact same way. And so does my church. Our pastor even slipped in a marriage equality spiel on Easter. (That wouldn't fly in most Mississippi churches.) I believe that Christianity is based on your personal relationship with God...and everyone's is different, so nobody has any room to judge anyone else.

Thank you for this. Living in the bible belt of Alabama as I do, I'm a former East Coast girl. I wasn't raised in the church but I've always respected it, and religions of all types. That we all have our own beliefs. Lately I feel like people judge me harshly because I don't go to church. My husband grew up in the church and has felt off about it for years so we just don't go unless it's a special occasion. That being said I don't think I'm going to hell because I don't go to church. I live a good life, I care for others, I try my best not to hurt others - treating them as I would like to be treated. I give to charity, I help my community. I don't murder, I help m neighbor. I don't do drugs, I have tattoos, I like to drink and I cuss like a sailor - but I'm appropriate when needed a lady when important and polite as well. Thanks again for writing this, sometimes I just need to be reminded by others that I am a good person, even though the church going folk think I'm not.

Yes, this is all fabulous, but I was really hoping to read about your diet. I guess that makes me shallow :) I bet God wants to hear about your diet too. Please? For real though, i love going to church. Sometimes I go everyday. My life is chaotic and lately it's the only place I feel really safe and peaceful. To be fair, I have four kids, three of whom are teens, so I'm kind of always in the verge of losing my mind. Sitting in church all by myself seems to bring the heart rate down quick. But anyway, I am looking forward to your diet post . I'm trying to lose about twenty pounds myself and I am an old lady (44) so it's quite hard at this point.

I love this post because it is exactly how I feel about my faith/Christianity. I go to a Christian college and I am CONSTANTLY having to hide aspects of my life from other students and teachers. Yes...I live with my boyfriend, but that doesn't make my faith any less real. Great post girl!
xxoo
Jordyn

I can just picture God greeting you shaking his head and smiling saying "yes, Raven, you made it. Come in..." ;)

Love, love, love this post!

I completely agree with everything you stated, and I try to convey that to people quite often!

Fantastic post! I Amen everything you said. For a long time I struggled with this and for a long time I went "religiously" to church each Sunday, but at some point, I realized I wasn't leaving feeling uplifted and closer to God. I was leaving feeling manipulated and pressured. I feel closer to God when I'm running. I feel closer when I'm sitting outside in the sunshine. When I'm with my husband or my dogs. And I love knowing that no matter what I do - He loves me.

I love reading everything in this post. I feel the same way about my Christian life. I love going to my current church because after hearing the pastor preach, I feel so uplifted and happy and that life is so beautiful. I can wear blue jeans and no one cares. The people there are happy to see me. I'm going to miss my church so much when I move away. Yikes!

amen sister. I really needed that today!
you are so right, that is all i have to say.

I totally agree and I love what Vanessa wrote above, it IS about the heart and intentions. The most important thing is to be a good and kind person.

http://eatdrinkbemeredith.blogspot.com/

Love this -- We have been "shopping churches" for a year now and, living in the Bible belt, it's tough to find a church that's somewhere middle of the road between time warp to a hundred years ago and the opposite, rock-n-roll church of Jesus. Your church -- and you-- sound like you have it all figured out. Lucky!

AMEN! I respect you so much for this post, and for putting it into words. I wish I could find a church like yours!

I am jealous that you found such an awesome church! That is no easy task these days!

Amen. I've been wanting to find a church like that over here for awhile now.

Yay! I totally agree with you- do not need to go to church to "prove" that I believe in God and that I am Christian. Great post!

I'm with you 150%!! Awesome post!!!

This is so true and exactly how I feel!

YES!!! Right on Girl!

Love to see this side of you :) Any Christian should realize that there is only on perfect person, Jesus Christ. We can strive to be Christ-like, but will never be as good as him. That's why we're able to ask for forgiveness-we do that and we're good to go :)

I LOVE THIS! I work at a church, and so many times I feel like I'm having to fight against the attitude people have against what you've just said. It's hard because this is what it's all about. Not about how often you go to church, if you swear, get tattoos or piercings, etc. But I always have to struggle with appearing to have it all together because I work at a church. It's exhausting. (And part of the reason why I may or may not be a youth minister anymore in the future... but that's another story for another time.)

After reading this post my Blogger Crush turned into full blown Blogger Love!

Preach it girl!
<3

So nicely said! I completely agree with you and am a Christian such as yourself. I was raised going to church three times a week, now I go once a year? I believe in God, in doing good unto others and living with morals.

I have a friend that is very active in her church and always in tears. The ladies are mean and judgemental and so unchristian like. It is these hypocrites that keep me away.

The way that so many bloggers speak about Christianity comes off as kind of intimidating and unattainable to me. This did just the opposite. If I did go to a church, I'd want it to be one just like yours. And I truly believe that God is open and loving to all. It's an open minded look at Christianity and I really appreciate it.

I agree that God doesn't love anyone less because of their lack of church attendance, or tattoos or history. BUT, we are called to repent, which literally means to turn around and go the other way. That means quitting (with God's help) the sins we used to do and doing our best to live a pure life before God. We are also called to be witnesses, and continuing to live the same way we did before we found God isn't showing people the awesome change He makes in our lives. I'll be the first to admit that living a Godly life is something I struggle with every single day. Am I always the best witness? No! But I'm making an effort and God knows my heart and my true intentions. I'm sorry if this offends you, but it's in the Bible and it's the truth.

It's important to remember that what's important is your heart and what you feel and believe to be true. That doesn't mean that I am any better for dressing my "Sunday best" when I attend a church service or because I waited for marriage to have sex than you because you don't/didn't. It doesn't mean you are any better for attending a church where people don't have to dress their Sunday best than me. I think the ultimate goal of church is for people to have somewhere to believe that works for them. Taking sides (no matter which sides) in religion, doesn't help unify. I love you, Raven, but you're doing the exact same thing that you're criticizing others for by making it about that rather than the heart.

Amen girl!

Living in a small town after going to a liberal state school focused on science and proof has left me with a faith that is evolving into a "Don't sweat the small stuff" sort of relationship with God... This horrifies all of my Good Christian Bitch friends who can't believe that I write (and say) words like shit, hell, and (my personal favorite) bitch. If Jesus spent his life hanging out with adulterers, lepers, and tax collectors, why would he ditch me for my dirty mouth? Riddle me that one GCBs. (A show I actually found annoying while all the real life GCB's thought it was offensive and attacking... Defensive much?)

I go to church every Sunday except in the summer, but that's because I sing in the choir; otherwise I probably wouldn't go as often. Some people think that because of that, I must be uber-religious, which isn't true. I believe in God and Jesus, but I'm quite the sinner. And hell, my father drank, smoked and cussed like a sailor at times, and guess what? He was a minister!

First off, I want to commend you for your boldness in proclaiming your faith and your desire to raise your kids the same way. That is awesome. With that said, please know that what I'm going to say, I say purely out of love and respect for you and without a spirit of condemnation. I would be remiss if I didn't say anything at all. I wholeheartedly agree that Jesus doesn't love us any less for having tattoos/drinking/swearing/all that stuff. I also agree going to church doesn't make us a Christian any more than being in a garage makes us a car (old analogy, but it works).

However, I completely agree with what Rachel said above. We are called to repent, to turn from our wicked ways and follow God. Philippians 1:27 tells us to live our life worthy of the gospel. Jesus died on the cross to free us from the bond of slavery. If we accept Jesus, we should no longer be wallowing in sin as a pig in the mud. No, we are called to turn away from our sinful lifestyle and follow Jesus. Jesus taught that we will know believers by their fruit; are they doing the works of God, or are they living a life of sin? Are they seeking to become more Christ-like, or are they satisfied doing what they did before they met God? In Matthew 5, Jesus tells us to "cut off our hand" if it causes us to sin, for it will be better to lose our hand and go to heaven than continue to live in sin. It is strong, bold imagery that offends people, but it is true. We need to turn away from sin. People often only focus on the love of God (which is an awesome thing!), but God is a holy God. God says he will pour out his wrath on unrepentant sinners. He is holy and cannot be in the presence of sin. He is loving BECAUSE he saves us from his wrath when we repent and turn to Him.

Will we ever be perfect? Absolutely not. Not this side of heaven. But here's the key: when we stumble, we get back up and continue to pursue God. Of course we mess up. Of course we still sin. But when God renews our hearts and begins the process of transforming us into his likeness, our attitude changes and we grow to hate sin. We want nothing to do with it; we want the things of God instead. We are willing to make hard decisions in order to keep sin at bay. James 4 says faith without works is dead. We are saved by grace and do not need to work our way to heaven, so what it's is saying that our faith in God will produce godly works. We are to be a set apart people, not conformed to this world. We are to examine ourselves and our lifestyle and compare it to scripture.

No, this isn't an "open and accepting" message, but God is not accepting of sin. But when we repent of our sins and spend our lives following Him, seeking Him, and knowing him more, we won't want to sin. Our love for Him will begin to far outweigh the appeal of anything on this earth. You don't have to agree with me, but I do challenge you to read some of these scriptures and sift through them.

Totally agree that God could probably care less about your tattooes...but there is an element of repentance that is not acknowledged in this post that is so important. As Believers, we are called to be set apart from the world and to constantly strive towards Christ-like behavior/mind. We will always have struggles and a complete lack of perfection, but that doesn't mean we should continue to walk a path of unrighteousness just because perfection is unattainable. I know everyone likes to say that God looks at your heart, but our words and actions are a direct reflection of the heart. We should never be comfortable with sin just because God will love us anyways. To me, that's taking advantage of God's grace and the sole-purpose of Christ's crucifixion.

agree 110% with Michelle

If we truly love Christ, it should be reflected in our lives by being seperate from the world, not compromising with it and accepting our sins. Jesus Himself says..


John 14:23-24

Jesus replied, “All who love me will do what I say. My Father will love them, and we will come and make our home with each of them. Anyone who doesn’t love me will not obey me. And remember, my words are not my own. What I am telling you is from the Father who sent me.

True you cannot "work" your way to heaven but grace is received through faith and true faith then results in works as we are transformed from the inside out. If we arent transforming we need to ask ourselves some real questions.

Remember James 4:4

Don’t you realize that friendship with the world makes you an enemy of God? I say it again: If you want to be a friend of the world, you make yourself an enemy of God.

You can be a Christian, or you can be popular/socially accepted. You cant be both. That's just what the Word says... God Bless ya'll. Not on here Judging but from a desire for people to experience the fullness of Christ that only comes from walking in obedience with Him. Truly awesome.

i only read until the "i don't where people came from saying you aren't christian if you do A, B, or C" (i paraphrased)... annnddd i hope i can say this because we are friends? but THE BIBLE is where those ideas come from. if you believe in god (which i don't- im an atheist, hence my spelling and this rant) then you must believe what he tells you to do, right? and everything god tells you to do is written down in.. the bible. so.... i guess this is my problem with organized religion- everyone interprets it how they see fit, claiming they are religious, when they are outrightly defying the god they are claiming to faithfully serve. if it's written in the bible, then according to god, you must follow his word. not your interpretation of the word. or your pastor's. not interpret it to fit modern times, or your specific agenda, or your shopping habit (jesus bless this vintage find!).... (unless, of course, there was some mention of this in the bible? "if times change, let it be known my follower's can interpret this shit however they see fit- because i'm a good god and had disciples spend over 400 years writing this book for millions to loosely interpret, even though i explicity state NOT to loosely interpret it.. ") i can't even do this topic justice because it is so frustrating, but if you want a differing viewpoint pick up The End of Faith by Sam Harris.

and.. i love you. and your blog. cheers!

don't hate me?

and.. i'm obviuosly your only atheist reader... do i win a prize? mail me a duckfart?

(is that even possible?)

I respect your beliefs Ash and I love the point you make here! It's funny and a tad sad that Atheists understand more about Christianity than Christians do. Have a good day!

I have to agree with Rachel, Michelle, Brandon, Hannah, and Ash.

The basis of Christianity is the message of the Cross. Christ died specifically so we no longer have to be slaves to sin. When we choose to sin anyway, just because God will still love us (which He does!), that's making light of a very heavy situation. Christ DIED for us. He was beaten, tormented, mocked, and spit on. He was nailed to a cross and died a very public, very humiliating death so that we have the ability to turn our back on sin, follow God, and be saved from eternity in Hell. It's an amazing, life-changing message, but when we turn our back on that - or take advantage of it - and choose to live a life that looks identical to someone who hasn't met Christ, we're basically telling Jesus that his death didn't matter. That it was pointless. That He may as well have just not done it at all.

You said that you're not sure where the idea came from that those who don't walk the straight and narrow are "un-Christlike." But once again, that idea came straight from the Bible, our very foundation. Matthew 7:13-14 says, "Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and there are few who find it."

Of course nobody is perfect. But nowhere in the Bible does it say "You'll never be perfect, so don't bother even trying." If we want to honor God, honor Jesus and honor what He did for us on the Cross - we need to turn away from sin. God's grace is there when we fail, but it doesn't mean we don't try and we just live however we want to live. It means we do everything we can possibly do to avoid it (and sometimes that means sacrifice!), and like Michelle said, live our lives worthy of the Gospel.

I really enjoyed reading this post! I grew up going to church but never really got much out of it so I don't go except for on Christmas or when I am visiting my family in STL. But I like that you write about God being open-minded and loving everyone despite how many tattoos they have, how often they swear, who they love or how many children they have before they get married. I wish I could find a place, like you have, where I felt welcome whenever and not judged. When I do, I think I would attend but if I live a life full of kindness toward others, in my opinion, that is an expression of God and I don't need a church to do that.

well said!

All I have to say is... this is one of the best damn blog posts i've ever read on being a Christian!

I pretty much take the same perspective as you expressed. I believe in God to the depths of my soul. I have seen His work firsthand.

What I don't appreciate is the Christian culture that speaks FOR God, as some of the commenters have so aptly exemplified. Last I checked that was a sin.

These Christians judge in the name of a Bible that was translated hundreds of years ago from a language that isn't even living anymore. And a lot of these Christians are protestants who know nothing of the history of Christianity, Catholocism, reformation, Martin Luther, I could go on.

Jesus hung out with sinners, by the way.

I believe you are a monkey! That's what I believe.

And THIS is why you're one of my favorites.
You say what you want and aren't afraid to say it.
You're honest and it's refreshing.
And you're right, God never asked us to be perfect.
He just wants to have a relationship with us. Period.

LOVE LOVE LOVE this post.

xoxo
Sarai

Thank you for this. You said how I feel perfectly. I recently left my church because I didn't feel accepted there. I need to find a church like yours. I recently ended a friendship with someone, not because his beliefs of what it means to be a Christian differ from mine, but because he told me I wasn't a Christian because of the things I do. The things I do happen to be the things you do: drink, swear, hate people who deserve to be hated. I know those things don't make me less of a Christian and it's nice to have someone else say the same thing I said. I think the judgement that is passed is what makes a person less of a Christian... and it's funny that those doing the judging tout themselves as the most Christian of them all.

I love reading all the comments where people stand. I agree with so many of your points and also agree with many of the comments people left! Really makes ya think :) and yes, you're a monkey like Kristen said . ;)

Great post. I work at a church and find it hard to find a line between the 'real' me (where I curse & have a good time)and the 'work' me (where I hold my tongue & feel like I pretend to be something else to others). God loves you for you and you know it. Glad you have a church that allows you to feel that way. Even if you don't go every Sunday (I don't!), God knows what's in your heart and what you're teaching your boys. That's most important! He wants us to be who we truly are and doesn't judge.

I absolutely loved reading this. My sentiments exactly. I curse like a Sailor. I have 9 tattoos. I don't go to Church every Sunday. But I do believe in God and I thank Him daily for my blessings. I'm a Christian!

Great post, girl!

I am one of those people who advocates the "Jesus loves you no matter what" idea whenever I get a chance. I live by that, really. Because we all make mistakes, we all fall, and without God's incredible grace and forgiveness, we would have nothing.
Where I find fault in Christianity, is exactly as one commenter stated above (I can't remember her name, but she said she was an Atheist! I'm so sorry that's all I remember!!), God's Word is the Bible, which we, as believers, find to be infallible truth. Over the years, I've come to terms with the fact that how WE perceive the Bible, and how our Christian leaders/teachers perceive the Bible IS fallible. As long as we are on this earth, we will never truly know the true meaning of Christ's words in the Bible. So who is to say that all those verses in Leviticus are a true, infallible reflection of Christ's rules for us as Christians?

One part of your post though that kinda stuck with me is that you won't "forgive" certain things.
Normally, this wouldn't phase me in the least. But I recently read a book about forgiving yourself and others, and there was a passage about how if you are not able to forgive yourself for doing something, or you are not able to forgive others for doing something (no matter how terrible and no matter how wrong).. by not forgiving, you are holding yourself to a higher standard than Christ. This hit me like a ton of bricks when I read that. I have terrible trouble with holding grudges and not being able to forgive... but then I realized, Christ forgives us. He DIED so that we could have the ultimate freedom from our sins and our transgressions. That child molester that you can't forgive? Christ has already forgiven him. I don't know - something to think about! It certainly made me think! :)
Haley (ehaleytyson@gmail.com)

We have a church like that. My husband goes there way more than I do, but when I do show up they say "nice to see you!" No sales pitch, no pressure, I just get to worship and fellowship. And next weekend my church will be on the back of a horse, and probably three or four weekends after that. When I make it back to church with the hubby they'll be equally as happy to see me and they still won't give me a hard time. I love them, and I love your views on your faith.

I really appreciate your honesty and bravery. I believe we each have our own path and so long as the intention of your heart is pure and focused on Christ then everything else is left up to our world-interpretation. I wish you the best of luck in your journey, whether that takes you to church every day or once a year.

Brittany @ Everyday Thoughts

This post is exactly how I feel, why must ever judge you whether u do or don't go to church. I pray and my son prays. We're all not perfect. Every person sins, whether it be gossiping, lying, drinking, premarital sex...etc we all sin, we all repent and ask for forgiveness....I believe and he knows where my heart is..

I am proud that I'm not a cookie-cutter Christian, I cuss, I'm sarcastic, I hate sexual predators as well, and y'know what God still loves me!

word UP. check this post out if you get a chance: http://www.shuginboots.blogspot.com/2013/03/so-what-if-jesus-is-wearing-boots.html

to me, the worst is that people who are curious about Jesus run away because of psycho hypocritical christians who are so unaccepting and self-righteous.

I'm always so interested in hearing about and why people identify as Christian. So I really appreciate this post. I personally identified as a Christian until I was about 21 but found the idea that some parts of the bible may be viewed as more acceptable than others to be troubling.

So I 'left' Christianity and have spent the last 5-6 years with a more agnostic view. For the same reasons that you mentioned, actually. Because I don't think that a god or higher power would be upset or consider it a sin if I had a tattoo, or if I were gay. I, like you, am all about embracing and accepting individuals, and I found that in general Christianity did not align with very important issues in my life.

I really admire Christians who stand up for embracing these things (such as sexual orientation), so bravo! I really hope that nothing in this comment is taken as being offensive. Just thought that I'd share my slightly different journey with Christianity :)

I don't personally claim to be Christian, for the same reasons as Treasure Tromp. I would feel hypocritical to claim to be Christian and not believe and practice the things that are basic tenets of Christianity.

I don't feel like I can, in good conscience say: "Christians don't believe in abortion, being gay, premarital sex, etc, but that's ok. I can condone those things and still say "I'm a Christian". No, if I don't play by the rules, I can't claim to be a member of the group.

Note: My previous post only applies to me and my feelings. It is not meant as a slam on Raven or any of the other posters. It's just me. I wouldn't judge anyone for calling themselves Christian.

I think it's great to see the "spiritual" side of Raven, and I'm so proud of her for this post. Also proud to see that she is concerned about living her life as a good example for her boys. We all slip up sometimes, and kids need to see that their parents are not perfect, just that they are trying their best like everyone else!

I love this. Talking about your faith, or lack of, will always be a controversial subject, but I'm glad it is because it gets people talking about it. We were not born perfect, and I'm pretty sure none of us die perfect either. Although I don't think the Word is totally open for interpretation, I do believe that what life was like when it was written and the world we live in now are two very different places. The Word has been through a LOT of translation, and I'm quite sure nobody sticks to it 100 percent. I know many pastors and worship leaders who have tattoos, eat bacon, don't send their wife to live in a tent when she's PMSing... you get the picture.

I think that as long as you accept that you were born sinful, but try to live towards His light and repent when you really fuck up then you're okay with the big man. Christians who try to make out like He doesn't love us because we don't live like nuns are the same people who would disown their kid for being gay. They're the people who give Christians a bad rep, and make non-religious people assume that we're all like the Westboro Baptist fruit loops.

This makes me think of that quote that goes something like "Church isn't a museum for good people. It's a hospital for sinners." AKA we ALL sin, which makes me think of the quote, "Don't judge me just because I sin differently than you". Preach it sistah!

So well said! This is exactly how I feel. Thank you for putting it out there. Although I haven't been to church in about a year, I still consider myself a Christian and are raising my two boys, to the best of my ability, the way God intended. I also have tattoos and drink and feel bad for those that may judge me based on that. God is all about love which is how I try and live my life. And, for the times I may make it to church, well, that's just an added bonus.

So, I've been reading your blog and I stumbled to this post. Thanks for your honestly with this. I feel like people get caught up with the fact that you must go to church to be a christian. I raise my children to know GOD and to treat people right. Everyone gets caught up in the day to day hustle and bustle and its hard to make it to church. However, if you live right and know GOD do you think he will deny you into heaven? Thanks for the great post!!!!

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